Self-Space

I once had a friend whose parents would always retreat to his or her own spots in the house after dinner. At the time, I thought it was a little weird that they spent this time apart. They each had their own TV; one would sit on the couch with the newspaper while casually watching baseball game or the nightly news, while the other would sit in the kitchen watching a variety of games shows or shopping networks while she sipped her wine and smoked her Virginia Slims.

Without realizing it, I have come to enjoy the same type of self-space. My sweetheart (flame, love, beau, fiancé…. I haven’t found the perfect permanent name for him yet) and I share dinner together where we bond over stories from the day and review any future plans. We clean up the table together, and then we retreat to our places. He sets himself up in the office area where he can do his thing: consulting work, searching the net, read a magazine, etc. Me, I have a desk in the office too. Only mine is covered in bills, receipts, and misc. things I want to review at a later date. Instead, I find myself on the couch more and more. Not as a potato, but as a magazine reader, Internet searcher, a homework grader, or occasionally a napper. Our couch is unbelievably comfortable and the wide coffee table is at just the right level. And, instead of yelling at each other between rooms, like my friend’s parents once did, my sweetheart (and other names mentioned previously) and I actually instant message each other on our computers with links to news stories, questions about our night’s timeframe, or just quick love notes. I do my thing and he does his. When we are ready, we reconvene to cuddle and watch a movie on our unbelievably comfortable couch, share a glass of wine, or brush our teeth and go to bed.

I like this. Whether its in the bathtub to read a magazine, or in your chair sipping coffee with a crossword, I feel having a place, or a time to be “you” is not rejection, but recognition of your self and the balance you need.